I fear i am falling back into my anorexia. I haven’t eaten in over 2 weeks. I barely have enough energy to walk and get the mail. My brother is so worried right now. He wants to take me to the hospital. Im in tears right now. I know im hurting him.
Everyone: Suicide is selfish. It's the easy way out. You don't consider the pain your family and friends will go through. You're weak if you commit suicide.
Me: The easy way out? There is nothing even remotely easy about suicide. Do you think it's easy to fight every natural instinct in your body that tells you to survive? Do you think it's easy to come to the decision that ultimately, it would be better if you were dead? Better for you, for your friends, for your family. Because when you're suicidal, you consider everything. You consider what would bring your loved ones pain. So that's why you hold off for as long as you can, you try as hard as you can. But sometimes you can't do it. Suicide doesn't happen because you're feeling a little sad one day or because your boyfriend dumped you. It's because everything is overwhelming. You can't see any light in your life and your vision is shrouded in darkness. You can't envision a future without pain; hell you can't envision a future at all. You have no hope for anything. You have been too strong for far too long. So you do it. You take the plunge. You jump off the building. You walk in front of the train. You do it in the hopes that it will make the voices stop, it will make the hurt go away and it will relieve your parents of the burden that you think you are. If you think going through all of this makes you weak, then you're delusional.
